Armistice Blues
by Chuckie Anelli
Summary: Young Viper Pilot Miles "Spriggan" Eddington, struggles to deal with his feelings for a fellow pilot with the backdrop of the end of the Armistice and the beginning of the new war between Cylons and Humans. I do not own anything about Battlestar Galactica, Pacific Rim, nor do I own the band The Killers or the song "Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf." Just a story for enjoyment.
1. Chapter 1

**Armistice Blues**

**Chapter 1**

"So 'Spriggan,' are you finally gonna grow a sack today and ask her out or what?" I heard from behind me. Shortly after, I got that familiar chuck on the shoulder from my friend, Lt. Karl "Helo" Agathon. I turned to him and there he was with that goofy grin he has whenever he was busting my chops. I put on my shirt and finished buttoning up my pants before I threw my gym clothes in my locker. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of emptiness at his words even though he was just being his usual, jovial self.

"The same can be said about you Helo. Still haven't asked out Boomer yet have you?" Suddenly his grin was gone and it was my turn to wear a shit-eating smile as I zipped up my flight-suit and slammed my locker shut. I glanced down to the right shoulder of my "Jock-smock" which had a "Viper" patch boldly emblazoned on it. Every time I looked at it, I couldn't help but feel a certain amount of pride. But then again, anybody who flies always has pride, probably a little too much sometimes. "It'll happen, I'm just waiting for….for my moment is all."

Helo looked at me with that sympathetic look he always gave me when this subject came up. He knew how bad I was at it. I could do a lot of things, fly fighters, plot jump coordinates, write poetry but the one thing I couldn't do, I could _never _do, is ask out Kara "Starbuck" Thrace. Actually, I was bad with women in general but when it came to somebody I truly liked, like Starbuck, well there were no words for the depths of my failure. I would have rather faced down five incoming squadrons of Cylons by myself than be shot down by _her_. But that was me, Lieutenant Miles "Spriggan" Eddington, screw up at large.

Ever since the academy, I could only admire Starbuck from afar; she, Helo and I graduated at the same time. She was the most vivacious, beautiful, toughest, and sweetest person I'd ever met. I could've gone on with the adjectives but why belabor the obvious? After graduating flight school, Starbuck, Helo and I had went our separate ways. I heard she was stationed on the Triton and then did a stint as a flight instructor back at flight school. That didn't shock me in the slightest; she always had been the best stick in the fleet. I myself had done duty on the Solaria and liked it there before I got rotated to the Galactica. I thought I must've screwed up somehow being assigned to a relic like the Galactica but I was a soldier and a soldier follows orders without question.

It was just dumb luck that we were both stationed on the Galactica together after all this time. I hadn't seen her in two years before that and when I finally _did _see her all those old feelings were dredged up again. Feelings I thought I'd quashed a long time ago. I wanted her desperately to like me but I was merely the nice guy in her life and I _hated _it.

I knew I should've just let it go and move onto something else. Deep down in the logical centers in my brain I _knew _this, but I couldn't let go for some reason. I didn't mention my crush to too many people but to the ones I did tell, they all either told me to let it go because she was out of my league or the same thing Helo told me. The problem was, every time I tried to do something about it, it was either inconvenient or I got choked up so bad that I'd stumble over my words and sweat lakes through my clothes.

It got to the point that Helo took pity on me and used to talk to me about Starbuck; he would tell me her likes and dislikes and feed me intel as to her dating situation since he was one of her closest friends. I even had him talk me up to her once but nothing ever really came of it. I always admired his confidence all throughout the academy and when we were stationed together on the Galactica, until Sharon "Boomer" Valerii came aboard. All of a sudden, he was the same type of shy, gibbering mess that I was, only he hid it better than I did. Helo and I went from jock and nerd respectively to two guys awkwardly head over heels in love with the crushes in our lives.

"Speaking of the pot calling the kettle black, when are _you _going to talk to Valerii?" I reiterated, this time not busting his balls. "She seems like a nice girl. Besides you have no excuse to not talk to her, you're her EWO (Electronic Warfare Officer) for frack's sake!"

"To paraphrase you, I'll get around to it." Helo replied deadpanning.

Minutes later, we were in the ready room, receiving our briefing from our squadron leader. The ship was abuzz with activity; the Galactica was getting decommissioned in a week and plans were underway to turn "the big G" into a museum and educational center. I would've much rather pulled parade fly-by's than combat drills but being in the military, you learn to follow and not question orders no matter how much they suck. Helo sat next to Boomer a row behind me and out of my peripheral vision, I could see him fidgeting in his seat. Inwardly, I grinned at his uncomfortableness.

The briefing was the same standard briefing I'd received hundreds of times since being stationed on the Galactica a year ago. But it wasn't the rote repetition that caused my attention to wander, it was the fact that Starbuck was sitting in front of me; I couldn't take my eyes off of her the back of her head. It wasn't like I was trying to stare; I'm not a creep in the slightest! But there was something about her that I couldn't help myself when it came to Starbuck.

"Lieutenant Eddington, your attention needs to be here and not in the stars or at the back of Starbuck's head!" Major "Ripper" Spencer our Commander of the Air Group or CAG, yelled at me, jolting me out of my reverie. The rest of the ready room chuckled at my embarrassment; I could feel my ears burn red hot at the rebuke.

"Sorry Major, won't happen again." I muttered which got the ready room laughing even harder. Normally I could take their laughter but when Starbuck shot me a "what the hell man?!" look with that big, pretty grin on her face, that made my gut twist up in knots. I sheepishly looked down at my notepad on my desk. That wasn't the way I wanted her to find out that I was interested in her.

"Alright, knock it off!" Major Spencer yelled, shutting everybody up but some still had grins on their faces. "Skids up in one hour, keep the formations tight. Let's make the old man proud with our performance. Dismissed!"

We stood up at attention when Major Spencer left the room. Once he left, we all began filing out, pairing up with our buddies or the guys we had flight assignments with. In my case, I was teamed up with Helo and Boomer since we were running a joint exercise between Vipers and Raptors. In the crowd of people, I caught a glance of Starbuck laughing and talking with the pilot she was to be teaming up with. I could only imagine that she was laughing at me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

An hour later, I was flying my viper alongside Boomer and Helo's raptor. I could see Boomer through the cockpit window at the controls; the lights in her helmet illuminated her face making me able to see her that much more clearly. I had to admit, seeing Boomer with her face scrunched up in concentration I saw what Helo saw in her. No matter how cute she was though, she still couldn't land her Raptor worth a crap.

"Spriggan, how are you holding up?" Helo radioed me.

"Just a walk in the park Helo. On your low left side by the way." I replied back.

"I think I see smoke coming from your canopy from that burn at the briefing." Boomer said; I could hear the snicker in her voice. I winced inwardly at the comment.

"Hey, c'mon Boomer, it could've happened to anybody. The CAG will yell at everybody at one point or another, it was just Spriggan's turn." That was Helo, always having my back.

"I'm surprised Starbuck wasn't the one who was yelling the way you shot lasers into the back of her skull. Gods, could you make it any more obvious?"

"I wasn't trying to be, I just…."

"I think it's safe to say that you're on her non-frack list."

I was about to come back with a witty retort but found I had nothing to respond with. Instead, all I could do was mutter something that was indecipherable even to me. Everybody in the military knew that you couldn't have a thin skin and expect to make it, but her comment cut me to the core nonetheless. In the comm background, I could barely make out the chatter between Helo and Boomer and suddenly, her whole tone changed.

"Oh, sorry Miles. I was just trying to lighten the mood. I wasn't out to hurt your feelings or anything."

"It's okay Boomer." I said simply. I was becoming a joke to my fellow pilots. Except for mandatory communications, we spent the rest of the exercise in silence.

When we landed, I got showered, dressed and headed straight to my bunk even though lights out wasn't for another four hours. Most of the guys were in the Officer's Club playing cards or drinking ambrosia. I laid on my bunk, listening to my hand-held radio. My favorite song "Leave the Bourbon on the shelf" by "The Killers" was playing and I had it on repeat. Helo, who slept below me (I originally wanted the bottom bunk but he was four inches taller than me and outweighed me by about thirty pounds, I wasn't about to argue with him). He was getting ready to head out himself; he turned to me and said, "You're always listening to that song. Don't you have any other favorites?"

"I like this one, it suits my mood."

"You don't have any other songs on your playlist?"

"I do, I just want to hear this one okay?"

"You know that song is about an overly jealous boyfriend who stalks his girlfriend right? Hey come to think of it, that's very applicable to you…."

I turned to Helo with a deadpan expression. "Har, har very funny, Beanstalk."

"Hey, I hope you're not sore at Sharon, Miles. She honestly didn't know; she was just busting your chops."

I shook my head even though I knew he couldn't see me doing it. "Nah, I'm not angry Helo. I mean she's right you know? I mean, what could I possibly offer Kara, right?"

Helo stood up; he was so tall that he his eyes were staring right at me without having to stand on his tiptoes. Yes, he was _that _tall. "Okay, stop that crap right now Miles. Don't do this 'downing yourself' crap. You have a lot to offer anybody, _including _Kara, _especially_ Kara. What you need to do is get out of that bunk, come with me to the 'O-club,' have a couple of rounds and try to forget about what happened today. Besides, I need a good wingman for Sharon."

"I'm not really feeling it right now Karl. You go ahead, have a good time."

He wanted to press the issue but he knew that once I had my mind stuck on something, I wasn't going to budge. Helo turned to walk out when an idea occurred to me. "Hey Karl, you think Kara will be there?"

"Most likely Miles." I could almost hear his mouth turning into a slow grin.

I hopped down out of my bunk, threw on my boots and followed him out. "Okay, you talked me into it. You know, you're probably right. Being the awesome pilot that I am, I shouldn't get too down on myself."

"Alright, now you're talking!"

The Officer's Club was packed and buzzing with activity as usual. Cigar smoke and the smell of alcohol permeated the air as we walked in. Helo spotted Sharon across the room and nudged me to follow. I nodded and we joined Sharon at the table. Normally I would've found it odd that she was drinking alone; she was cute and funny and nice to be around. But the rumor was that she was fracking the deck boss, Chief Galen Tyrol. Everyone knew better than to try to confirm the rumor so we just kind of kept our traps shut and let it go; why bring down unnecessary heat? And I thought _I _had it tough with Kara; Helo was fighting a hopeless battle falling for someone that was already spoken for, even though it was a very illegal relationship between officer and enlisted.

Still, she seemed pretty happy to see us when we sat down. The minute our butts touched the seats, she reached out and grabbed my hand. It was a friendly gesture but I could _feel _Helo getting the beginnings of that heat you only feel when you're jealous. I knew he probably didn't mean to feel like that, it's just a reflex action sometimes.

"Again, I'm so sorry about earlier today Miles." Sharon said her eyes big and sympathetic.

I shook my head and smiled, patting her hand. "No worries Sharon, honestly it's cool, water under the bridge and all of that." I made it a point to take my hand away from Sharon's quickly; I wanted to show Helo that I had no intentions of trying to make a move on Sharon.

Sharon and Helo made small talk and as the night progressed. I did my duty as wingman to my friend, making Sharon laugh and talking Helo up at key points. We kept things light, trying not to make it seem like an overt attempt to hit on Sharon, just some friends sharing a drink. I could see in Sharon's eyes that her heart really wasn't into hanging out despite her smiles and laughter. I guess that her mind was on Tyrol rather than my friend, and I think Helo knew this too. But I also think that he was just happy to settle for just hanging around her, so it didn't bother him too much. I knew how he felt.

"Hey Sharon, you know Helo is a champion dart player? I mean...he's not as good as me but he's still pretty good!" I said, trying to talk up my friend a little. If I was going to be a wingman, I might as well do my best dammit! As subtly as I could, I gestured to Helo to engage her.

"Oh...Uh...yeah, I'm pretty good at darts. Would you like to play Sharon?"

"C'mon, it'll be fun Sharon, do it! Do _it!_" I chimed in, egging Sharon on.

They played and I sat back and watched. It was funny how natural they looked together yet they were totally apart. I could see it, I'm pretty sure Helo sensed it too. It seemed that the only person on the ship that didn't catch the drift was Sharon. It never ceased to amaze me at how girls could be so supposedly in touch with feelings, yet be so clueless at the same time.

After awhile, the two of them came back, laughing. I hoped for my friend's sake that it was a beginning step in the right direction. At very least, she seemed a bit looser now.

"Hey Miles, get together with Karl, I want to take a picture." She said, producing a camera out of nowhere. Helo and I groaned. "C'mon, do it!" With mock resignation, we hoisted our mugs and she took a picture of Helo and I; we drunkenly mugged for the camera. The mood lightened a whole lot more after that and the conversation picked up.

Meanwhile, I slowly shrank into the corner of the table, drinking my ambrosia because I suddenly felt like a third wheel later on in the night. I couldn't stop thinking about my embarrassing scene in the ready room no matter how hard I tried or how much alcohol I drank. I think it was the alcohol that was actually making things worse by depressing me, yet I still kept drinking it.

The world started spinning and I was about to head back to my bunk when Karl nudged me, grabbing my attention. "There's your girl, ace" he said.

My vision turned toward the far end of the room and there she was. As always, Kara lit up the room just by her mere presence. She always had that easygoing way about her with people that made her one of the guys but secretly, all the guys were in love with her. That of course didn't make her a hit with too many of the other girls on the ship, but Kara knew who her friends were anyway so it didn't really bother her I think.

There she was with her friendly, inviting smile, laughing with some of the pilots at a card game with her customary cigar held in her hand. She was a wicked card player, a skill that only rivaled her flying expertise. I sat in on a game with her once and she cleaned out the whole table including me. I still remembered that night fondly.

"Yeah, go talk to her!" Sharon chimed in with a smile.

I shook my head and slowly began to rise. "Eh, I….I'd better not. I think I should just go back to my bunk and call it a night.

"Look at this, you'll jump into a viper that can explode on the flight deck at any moment but you won't talk to a girl?" Helo said. He stood up and grabbed my shoulder in a vise-like grip. "You're gonna go over there and fracking talk to her even if it kills you!" I could hear Sharon chuckling as he roughly escorted me to Kara.

His grip was too tight and I was too drunk to fight him. We had a friendly sparring match once back in the academy, it took two days for the stars to clear from my vision. Karl always became even more assertive than he already was when alcohol was in his system. That didn't stop me from protesting all the way to the table. "Karl c'mon for frack's sake man! I… I can't go over there!" I said in a hushed whisper.

"Miles, you're my bro and all but this shrinking violet crap whenever Kara enters a room is getting ridiculous. You're a great guy; Kara could do much worse than being around you! Besides, I'm getting sick of your fracking moping around all the time."

There was more that I wanted to say but it was too late, we were already at the table. My face went from frozen in sheer terror to frozen in sheer terror framed by a nervous smile. She and the rest of the table stopped to stare at the two of us, but mostly at me. Some of the guys didn't even try to suppress their snickers. Kara just looked at us with that cocky but pretty smile of hers that made me feel three inches tall.

"Hey Karl, hey Eddington, what's up?"

"Hey Kara, mind if we sit in on a hand?" Karl asked as he patted my shoulder all too hard.

"No, not at all! More meat for the grinder I say." She replied, slightly slurring her words.

A couple of the guys made room at the table for us and we sat down, but Karl sat right back up.

"Actually Kara, something came up that requires my attention. _Miles _here will stay though!" Karl said, slamming his big bear paw of a hand on the small of my back, making me lurch forward slightly.

She looked at Karl sideways for a moment, then toward the direction we came from and then a slow smile of understanding crossed her face. "Ah, gotcha. Good luck with that old buddy."

"Later guys" Karl said with a nod and went back to Sharon, leaving me alone with Kara and a bunch of guys who were ready to laugh me into a quivering pile of goo. I suddenly felt vulnerable without Helo there. I knew I was using him as a crutch and at that moment, I didn't care.

"Let's play some Triad!" Kara said, blowing out a puff of smoke into the ceiling. The other players nodded and grinned; I was the only one who sat silent as the cards got dealt. I looked at my hand and grimaced at what I was dealt. I folded the first hand and I could tell I was on the way for a repeat of history.

The second hand was dealt and it was much better than the first one; I had a "three on the run." Not the greatest hand but one of the better hands if you wanted to win some cash. The ambrosia was taking its toll and that coupled with my desire to impress Starbuck, I bet really high. The other players folded their hands until only Starbuck and I were remaining. I laid down my hand with a confident smile. "Three on the run and you can run that to your local bank!" I said with a drunken smile.

"Oh Eddington, you never learn do you?" She said, smiling sweetly. My eyebrow raised in confusion as she laid down "Full colors," the highest hand you could get in this game. The others started laughing, my smile disappeared from my face. "Awww Eddington, cheer up, it happens to all men once in a while." I couldn't tell if she was talking about losing or impotence; I felt like both had happened to me.

A few hands later, predictably, Kara was up while almost half the table had cashed out. It was only me and two other players, "Minx" and "Dynamite" but they looked like they were fading fast. I myself was blowing through cubits like it was going out style. I'd won one or two hands but her triad skills were amazing! I was determined however to leave the table last. The whole while though, I kept thinking, _there's got to be a better way than this. _

Mercifully the end of the night finally arrived and like I hoped, I _wasn't _the last one out. It was the last hand and this time I had a surefire hand. Starbuck had gotten "full-colors" four times throughout the night; she was either cheating or was the luckiest person in the universe because statistically, that was impossible. I _knew _she couldn't beat my "prince high red" hand, the second highest hand in the game. I'd only gotten full colors once and that was the only reason why I was still in it.

"I'm impressed Miles, I thought you would've gone out a _long _time ago." Starbuck quipped.

"Yeah well, the sun even shines on a dog's ass every once in a while." I retorted with a smile that was confident for the first time all night.

"Look at you! You must think you really have something there huh?"

"Oh….Oh I might. It's gonna cost you to find out."

Starbuck's grin broadened even wider. "Oh it's like that huh?" She was drunk now but I knew she wasn't so drunk that she lost all of her skills and couldn't pull this game out.

"It is like that indeed." I replied slurring now. I was drunk too, drunker than I had been in a long time. That was probably the biggest reason why I was feeling so damn confident.

"Okay then, show!" she said as she stubbed out her cigar.

I was more than happy to grant her request as I laid down my cards. "Prince high red! Yeah, eat that!" I said, drunkenly pumping my fist. I leaned in to pull in my cubits when her hand slapped mine. I looked up to see her lay down her cards.

"Sorry Lieutenant, but it looks like I have full colors again." She said as sweetly as you'd please. I could only look at her cards in shock as she raked in the remains of my cubits. The remaining people in the room laughed and cheered at the show we put on. Some of them patted my back in pity, the others couldn't stop clapping for Starbuck. I could feel my pride run drain out of my body and into oblivion.

It felt like I was alone in the room even though it was crowded. I couldn't believe how embarrassed I was; I think it was worse than the briefing room incident earlier that day. I was 0 for 2 and right at that moment I just wanted to get out of there.

"Good game Starbuck" I said, offering my hand. I doubted she heard me in the din of the laughter and shouting. But her attention turned toward me and she took my hand.

"Same to you Spriggan." She went back to getting congratulated; a pilot poured a shot of ambrosia down her throat in congratulations. I was dejected but I figured I wasn't completely out of the game yet. I waited until the crowd dispersed slightly; I still had plenty of liquid courage left in me so I made my move.

"Hey Kara, I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime? Maybe for a drink or a movie or something?" Even drunk, I was amazed how smooth the words flowed out of my mouth, alcohol was great!

She _laughed. She laughed. _Maybe it was the alcohol that was influencing her actions and maybe my drunkenness was skewing my judgment but that didn't make it hurt any less. The rest of the room again erupted in raucous laughter.

I was clearly a non-factor so I made my exit silently. As I thought, nobody noticed that I left the room, especially Starbuck. I blew it.

Mostly everybody was asleep except for one or two guys just either laying in their bunks talking to their sweethearts back on Caprica on their phones. I hopped into my bunk, hoping that I didn't disturb Helo; the last thing I wanted was his pity right then. My luck held true to form as I felt his knocking below me.

"Hey, how'd things go buddy?"

"Like you'd expect." Was my only reply as I pulled the blanket over my head. The alcohol wore me out and I fell asleep immediately.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Over the next couple of weeks, I tried to forget that night. I mostly kept to myself, going to duty and returning to my bunk like a pre-programmed Cylon. My off-time I spent alone in the O-Club, sitting at the bar, having a drink, trying to drown my sorrows and failing. I wish I were like other guys and just put things all behind me but it just lingered over my head like an ever-present rain cloud. I'd been doing my best to avoid everybody; Helo tried to talk to me about things but I just wasn't opening up.

One night, I wandered into the O-Club after getting off-duty and sat down for my customary drink at the bar. I spotted Starbuck out of the corner of my eye and felt my heart sink a little. There she was, laughing and joking with her fellow pilots as usual. I turned to look for a second and then returned to my drink. I felt the familiar bear-paw of a slap on the back of my shoulder, making me lurch forward slightly.

"Hey, long time no see man." Helo said, taking a seat at the bar.

"What's up Helo." My answer was more of a statement than a question.

"I heard what happened Miles. Hey, you gotta cheer up man. You know Kara gets when she's been drinking."

Helo did have a point, I did _know _how she got when she drank. It softened the blow slightly but not enough to bring up my spirits. All I could do was shrug and continue to sip at my drink. Helo, sensing my mood, sighed and was resigned to not trying to change it.

Starbuck started a game of cards and a part of me wished I was sitting at the table joining the rest of the group there, if only to be in her presence. Since I'd been rendered gutless from my last encounter with her, I did my best to turn my attention to my drink and found it really hard to not keep glancing in her direction.

The room went suddenly silent when Colonel Saul Tigh entered. As the ship's XO, depending on who you asked, he was either the most feared or most hated officer on the ship. I think I fell into the latter camp; his alcoholism didn't do much to dispel the hatred by his fellow officers. The way he tried to ingratiate himself with guys in the room probably drove everybody insane. I would've paid more attention but I was too busy wallowing in my misery.

What _did _catch my attention was Tigh pulling out a seat at the table Starbuck was sitting at. I found that unusual considering that if anybody hated Saul Tigh more, it was Kara Thrace. We all made unflattering remarks about him from time to time but Kara was nearly outspoken for her hatred for him. If she wasn't so tight with Commander Adama, she would've been drummed out of the service for her conduct towards him a long time ago. Indeed, I think she held the record for brig time served by anybody in the fleet because of her run-ins with him; I think she had her own personal cot there.

I don't think I'm out of line for saying that everybody held their breath a little for what seemed like the inevitable confrontation between Tigh and Kara. Everybody was trying not to be too obvious by staring at them out of the corners of their eyes while pretending to concentrate on their drinks. I was praying that the two of them could remain civil for one night. Okay, so I thought I was Kara's guardian angel even though she didn't realize it, so what?

Because I was near the rear of the room, I couldn't quite make out what was said between the two. I could however, see the tensing of their gestures as Kara dealt the cards. All of a sudden, Tigh flipped over the table causing me and the other guys in the room to jump. I could feel my stomach sink in slow-motion as I knew what was coming next. _Please don't do this, _I thought inwardly.

Maybe I should've said something but things were happening too fast. Kara hauled off with a right cross which caught Tigh, flush on the jaw and knocked him on his ass. Because of the old warhorse that he was, he quickly recovered and was lunging at Kara. Before the fight could really begin in earnest, people separated the two of them. Good thing two because we all knew that it wouldn't have ended until one of them were dead.

Colonel Tigh called for security and had Kara dragged out. Kara being the tough chick that she was, merely smiled as she was hauled away. "Everybody back to your drinks!" Tigh belted out to the room. The excitement had died down anyway so it was an easy order to obey. As I sipped my drink, I continued to kick myself for not reacting sooner. I knew it wasn't my responsibility but I kicked myself anyway. If Karl was there, he would've _kicked me _for being down on myself over something so stupid, and would've been right. Struggling to reconcile this, I went back to my rack because the alcohol wasn't helping.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rumors travel faster than our FTL drives because Starbuck's arrest was already making the rounds in the ship. This of course was old-hat for Kara; I was pretty sure it probably didn't even bother her. Still, it was a bit unnerving to see. I was also pretty sure that despite her outward toughness and having been in the brig so many times, that it sucked for her. I don't know why I did it, but I found myself headed towards the brig. Somewhere in my warped mind, I guess I figured that I could somehow cheer Kara up. And if I did that, maybe she'd like me. I knew I was having a very junior high school mentality about her on a certain level but my heart overruled my logic centers in my brain.

When I got to the brig, I asked the guard if it was okay to see her. He nodded and made me sign the visitor's registry. With a smile, I went to sign it, not really paying attention to the other signatures on there. The door opened, causing me to look up from my writing. What I saw caused me to drop my pen.

Though I didn't know him personally, I knew his reputation. Hell, it was hard _not _to know who was walking out the door. Captain Leland Joseph Adama, callsign: Apollo and incidentally, the Commander's son filled up my vision. I stood up to attention and saluted.

"Captain Adama." I said cordially.

"Lieutenant, how are you?" he replied, returning my salute.

"Good sir, thanks." He nodded at my reply and walked out. When he left and the door closed behind him, my shoulders sagged. Everybody knew the story between Apollo and Starbuck. Kara had trained Apollo's brother, Zack when she was stationed at the academy as an instructor. She fell in love with Zack and while on a routine training flight, Zack was killed in action. As a result, the commander had unofficially adopted Kara as a surrogate daughter. This had caused a lot of consternation and accusations of favoritism though she did her damnedest to try to disprove them with her actions.

It was even rumored that her and Captain Adama were close, more than friends close. If that was the case and I was pretty sure that it was, how could I compete with that? I dropped the pen onto the book with a soft clatter with a sigh.

"Sir, aren't you going in?" the guard asked.

"No… no I'm good Sergeant, thanks." My heart heavy, I headed out the door.

Maybe seeing Apollo leaving Kara's cell was the best thing that could've happened to me. It hurt but it finally made me wise up about reality. I wasn't going to be with her no matter how badly I wanted it. Nothing I'd do, say or endure would change that inalienable fact. I wish I could say I felt better; I didn't feel worse but I felt….empty.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The old adage "Be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it" never rang so true to me until after I came from the brig. I was wishing for something, anything to take my mind off of my foul mood when Commander Adama's voice came over ship-wide intercom. What he said shook me and everybody else to our very core. The Twelve Colonies were apparently destroyed by the Cylons and a state of war existed between our two peoples.

As officers in the Colonial Armed Forces, we trained almost every day for combat. But training is one thing, being in it is something completely different altogether. Though the ship herself was retiring, most of the crew that served her were either babies or weren't born during the last Human/Cylon Wars, me included. As a fighter pilot however, because of our very natures, part of me was looking forward to testing my skills against the Cylon invaders. But I think most of my eagerness came from finding out that my home planet, Libran was destroyed by the Cylons. I'd just talked to my family and friends, letting them know I was coming home on leave a couple of weeks ago and now they were all dead. It was only my rage at their deaths that kept me from breaking down completely.

I guess I was one of the lucky ones that didn't, if you could call it that; there were people all over the place crying, wailing or slumped against a bulkhead in disbelief and shock. Not once did I think that I was stronger than them for not doing the same. In fact, a little part of me wondered if maybe there wasn't something wrong with me for not breaking down.

All these thoughts happened in a split second because the alert klaxons started blaring soon after the commander finished addressing the ship. Everybody moved with a purpose like their bodies were on autopilot; the years of training kicked in and the rest was instinct. It only took me a couple of minutes to suit up in my "jock-smock" and made it to the flight deck. Helo and Boomer were boarding their Raptor as I arrived.

"Going on an SAR (search and rescue) run to Caprica, going to see if there's anybody still left down there." Helo said to me.

We bumped fists as was our custom before every mission. "Watch your ass Beanstalk. I'm not there to fly cover for you and keep you out of trouble as usual."

He smiled and shook his head. "You too Miles, be careful out there."

I noticed that Boomer looked ashen as she stood on the hatch. She was having trouble reconciling that she'd have to fly into an actual combat situation for the first time and afraid she'd screw up. I put a calming hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it'll be okay Boomer, you're gonna be fine. Just a cakewalk for you right?"

She nodded nervously in response. Karl stood at her shoulder and said, "Miles is right, we're gonna be fine Sharon. I trust you with my life."

Major Spencer had launched Red Squadron already as the first wave of defense; I was to go out with Blue Squadron on the second wave. I glanced over to see Kara in her "jock-smock" climbing into a Viper. Guess they needed _all _available hands for this one and I couldn't blame them. I of course, was actually rather glad to see her. I climbed into my viper and commenced my combat pre-flight check. I was prepped for launch and raring to go when we got the call through our comms for a "mission scrub." The news was received with a collective "frack!" from all the pilots in their cockpits.

"What the hell's going on?" I yelled at one of the deckhands as my cockpit was opening.

"The Mark VIIs are being scrubbed sir! Something about the network interface being co-opted. Red Squadron just got wiped out because of that. "

Our collective jaws dropped to the floor; it was only minutes ago that Red Squadron launched. If I'd arrived thirty seconds sooner, I would've launched with the squadron. I felt a cold chill pass through my body. I didn't mind dying so much but to die without a fight…I couldn't deal with that. Unbidden, my mind imagined Major Spencer's last moments as he sat in his cockpit, defenseless against incoming Cylon Raiders. The fear he must've felt as those tracers were incoming….

I shook my head quickly, trying to clear the grim thought from my mind. My next thoughts were, what were we going to do if our planes weren't going to work?

"What about the Mark IIs?" Kara shouted. At first we all kind of scoffed but it was exceedingly momentary. Kara's idea made perfect sense. Yeah they were museum pieces but put some fuel and bullets in the guns and you had a functional war machine that was battle tested and true. Best of all, it was not _networked. _

"Let's move like we've got a purpose people and get these pilots into the sky!" Chief Tyrol said, rallying his deckhands. We jumped out of the Mark VIIs and rushed to give them a hand. We ran to the other launch bay which had been converted to be used as a museum and started clearing the exhibits. We were like destructive children on a tear. As pilots, we were all trained in the most basic of aircraft maintenance, so to see the Chief and the deckhands work was astonishing. I gained a new respect for them as they prepped the Mark IIs for combat readiness in record time. "Let's get these birds in the tubes!" Tyrol belted out.

I climbed in one of the fighters; I glanced down and saw the name of the pilot that it once belonged to, Jake "Gipsy" Danger. I hoped that I'd do his legacy proud as I dogged the cockpit hatch. Slowly I got wheeled into the launch bay. The systems were rudimentary compared to the Mark VII; my hands flew across the panel, activating the plane. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to relax myself as best as I could before flying into certain danger. I just prayed that my training would automatically just kick in like I was always told. I started humming "Leave the Bourbon on the shelf" and Kara off to my right. All my feelings for her were twisted up in my fear of what lay in store for me out there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The interior lights of the controls lit up visor as the lights on my helmet lit up my face. One thing a pilot could never complain about was whether it was dark in the cockpit! Then the call came through our intercoms to launch. I think that took my breath away more than the G-forces that shoved me back into my seat as my fighter hurtled out of the launch tube. Still, I welcomed the familiar sensation of sudden force and then near weightlessness as my fighter cleared the tube. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my lips as I adjusted my heading and met up with the rest of the defense force.

There was virtually no time for reverie because we flew into a hornet's nest of fighting. Tracers, explosions and vapor trails lit up space like some kind of action movie. In fact, the only time I'd ever seen anything like it _was _in the movies. There were so many Cylon Raiders in the sky I could probably walk on them back to Galactica. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for contact.

For some strange reason, when the Cylon raiders saw us, they paused for an instant; the pulsing light on the front of their ships stopped as if trying to hypnotize us or something. I figured that's how they corrupted the network of the Mark VIIs of Red Squadron. The command went out for "weapons free" and we all eagerly obeyed. We released our safeties and ripped into the Cylons! If machines could feel surprise then I'm sure they were beyond baffled.

All of us whooped as our shots found a home in our enemy's hulls. Cylon ships exploded and sprayed shrapnel all over space. I blew up one coming at me head on and swerved at the last minute to avoid the resulting explosion. "_Yeah! _Get some! That's for Libran you sons of bitches!" I shouted as I racked up my tally to three raiders in under one minute. It felt _good _to be killing Cylons as savage as that sounds. All the stress and frustration and rage I was carrying around disappeared in a rush.

We were finally starting to turn the tide. I don't think the Cylons expected us to fight as hard as we did but we were enraged. It wasn't so much we had a reason to fight or to win; we had a reason to _destroy _the Cylons. As much ass we were kicking, the Cylons gave as good as they got. Beside me, a viper exploded in a bright flash. I didn't even know the guy's name but I knew that it could easily be me that exploded next. It's not something a pilot likes to think about but that was reality.

After ten minutes, we were really feeling confident, maybe too confident. When I glanced at the Galactica, some of that confidence dissipated. There were fires all throughout the ship from the multiple hits it took and we still hadn't pulled all the raiders off their attack runs on the ship yet. "Galactica-Actual, this is Spriggan. You've got fires on your port side and they're burning really bad!" I radioed.

"Spriggan this is Actual, get those fighters off us! Do what you can!"

"Copy that!" I banked my ship and headed back toward the Galactica. Because the raiders were so hellbent on destroying our ship, they never saw me coming out of the sky like a rage-fueled avenging angel. I picked off two raiders easily that were on a strafing run and having their way with my mothership. Two more came over my gunsights and I blew them to pieces just as easily. Gods, I loved the element of surprise!

"Galactica-Actual this is Spriggan, I think I've got you cleared. Getting back into the fight now." I said as I climbed back into the raging dogfight. As I climbed, a raider streaked down toward me. "Oh you wanna play? C'mon then you motherfracker, let's play!" I depressed the trigger for all I was worth just as the raider was doing the same. I destroyed him but some of his shots hit home as well. "Yow!" I screamed as an instrument panel blew up in a shower of sparks. My viper shuddered from the hits and alarms started blaring everywhere.

"Frack!" I shouted, trying to make heads or tails of what just happened. According to what I could determine, my ship wouldn't explode and I was still airworthy. "Galactica-Actual, Spriggan, I took some hits but I think I'm alright" I said over the intercom. I was greeted by dead silence; the sound of static would've been welcoming but there wasn't even that, just dead air. "Frack, my comms must've been shot out." I muttered.

With no communications, I'd have to rely on visual cues. With the chaos going on in the skies, that was next to impossible. Common sense told me to land my plane and go for repairs or get a new plane if possible but I decided that I couldn't leave my friends. I continued to climb back into the fight.

I thought I was something special in the air but Starbuck was kicking major ass. Her flying style had always been so distinctive that I could pick her out of a thousand vipers that looked just like hers. She shot up three Cylons with ridiculous ease. "Man she's awesome" I whispered to myself. I chuckled, not believing that I was acting like a love-sick puppy in the middle of a battle! "Get your head back in it Miles" I said.

Suddenly, Starbuck broke off from an attack run on a raider and started chasing down two missiles. I wondered why she was doing that when I saw her tracers connect with one of the missiles. The projectile exploded with a huge white flash that lit up space like daybreak back home on Libran. Nukes, the godsdamned toasters were using nukes! And since almost all of the raiders were carrying some sort of ordinance, it was nearly impossible to know which raiders were carrying nukes and which weren't. I knew it couldn't have been all of them because we'd blown up with each raider we killed.

A raider distracted me, narrowly missing my ship with his tracers. I banked hard-left to avoid being shot up a second time. Doing that however, put the raider right on my tail. "I need help, I got a raider on my tail!" I shouted, forgetting that my comms were trashed. "Gonna have to do it myself then!" With a grunt, I hit the reverse thrust on my boosters, arresting my momentum and hurtling me backward.

The sudden change in inertia slammed me against my restraining harnesses and back into the seat with a grunt of pain. Stars that didn't belong to the galaxy swam across my eyes for an instant but then disappeared. "Take this you bastard!" I shouted as I squeezed the trigger. The Cylon exploded, adding another to my tally. I let out another whoop, seeing that I was on my way to becoming an ace in my first battle!

Smiling, I looked around me and the sky was preternaturally clear. I knew that couldn't be right however and I looked at my DRADIS screen. Sure enough, my personal dogfight had gotten me separated from the rest of my friends. I turned my ship and headed back to them at full throttle.

I came upon the group and it looked like the battle was finally thinning out; there were way less raiders in the air before and it looked like they were going to beat a retreat. Unfortunately that didn't apply to all of them. I saw Starbuck chasing yet another missile which was likely a nuke, so I figured I'd go and help her; I was lateral to her position.

Unbeknownst to her, a raider was coming on an intercept course that she either didn't see or she was ignoring and she was too good a pilot to ignore something like that. Most likely the raider was in her blind spot. "Starbuck, you've got a toaster coming at you!" I screamed. Again, I forgot that my comms were shot out so there was no way she could hear me. I boosted toward the raider on the intercept course and fired. My rounds hit the raider and exploded the Cylon. Unfortunately, his shots hit my fighter as well.

Bullets ripped through my ship, destroying my engines and avionics. I was "dead in the water" as it were and had no control over my ship. With no power to arrest my momentum, I was hurtling pell-mell toward the Galactica. Doubly unfortunate for me was that I was also in the path of the nuke which was getting ever closer to our base. I saw Kara fire and like the great marksman she was, her shots hit home.

"Kara…" I whispered as the nuke exploded…right in front of me. It's true what they say about your whole life flashing right before your eyes at the moment of your death. I instantly relived my entire life and saw the parts where I could've done a better job, tried harder, been faster, smarter or whatever. Most of all though, was Kara's face. The girl who I loved so much but didn't feel the same.

The kicker was that I had a vision of Kara and I on a beach kissing. I could feel her soft skin, the brush of her hair on my face. I could smell her sweet scent and taste her on my lips.

"I love you Miles." she whispered in my ear.

I smiled widely as I gripped her hands tightly. "I love you too Kara!"

The vision was suddenly gone. "Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf" I started to sing quietly. There was a flash of white, a momentary searing of heat and then…nothing.


	7. Epilogue, One Year Later

**Epilogue – One Year Later**

Captain Karl "Helo" Agathon stood in front of the "Memorial Wall," a bulkhead that was adorned with pictures and other mementos of loved ones now gone because of the exodus from the Twelve Colonies. A small smile was perched on his lips as he stared at the wall. Sidling up beside him was Captain Kara "Starbuck" Thrace and Helo's wife and fellow officer, Lieutenant Sharon "Athena" Agathon.

"Hey Karl, what's up?" Kara said with her customary wide grin as she approached.

He was seemingly startled out of his thoughts when he heard her. "Oh hi Kara. Hey hon. I was just passing by and the wall caught my attention."

"Karl, you okay?" Sharon asked with concern for her husband. "You look pretty down, not that I blame you. I always get like that when I come by here."

Karl nodded slowly and put his hands into his pockets. "Yeah I'm good. Just saw somebody that I hadn't thought about in awhile. He was one of my best friends Sharon."

Sharon looked where her husband looked and she finally understood. The picture was taken a year ago, shortly before the destruction of the Colonies and probably the last time anybody was truly happy. Her expression became mournful as she looked on. "I remember this picture. I know you miss him, I miss him too."

It was Kara's turn to find out what everybody was looking at. She saw a picture of Karl and a young, black man with close-cropped hair sitting in the Officer's Club with mugs of ambrosia in their hands. The two of them were drunkenly mugging for the camera with wide smiles. "Oh my Gods, Eddington! I'd almost forgotten all about him. Wow, it seems so long ago. I remember that he had the biggest crush on me!" Kara said wistfully.

"Actually, crush doesn't describe it Kara, he was madly in love with you, ever since the academy." Karl replied, turning to Kara.

She was actually taken aback at Helo's words. "I...I didn't know. Why didn't he say anything?"

"He was scared, scared of being shot down by you. You were the only one he wanted."

Kara felt a pit opening up in her stomach. "Oh" was all she could say.

Karl laid a hand on her shoulder sensing her discomfort. "Look Kara, this isn't a guilt trip I'm trying to lay on you. Not that you have anything to be guilty of, just figured that you should know. I think Miles would've liked that you knew how he felt about you."

"Helo, we've got to pick Hera up from the sitter. But I can do it if you want to stay a little longer?" Sharon said.

He shook his head and leaned forward, kissing his wife. "No, no I'm done here. Let's go pick up our daughter. Kara, you coming?"

"No, no I think I'm gonna stay a little longer. I'll catch you guys later. Give Hera my love will you?"

Karl and Sharon nodded and walked off, arms latched onto each other. Kara watched the two of them walk off together, envying not for the first time, how happy one of her dearest friends, Karl Agathon was with his wife. Despite the fact that Sharon was a Cylon, she'd proven her trustworthiness and love for Karl and the crew of the Galactica a thousand times over. She smiled as they disappeared from view and then turned her attention back to the wall.

Picking up the picture of Miles Eddington and Helo, she stared at it and started crying. "Though you and I weren't close, you were nothing _but_ nice to me Miles, I do remember that much about you. You were a good guy, one of the best ones." She sniffled and smiled. "Maybe in another life...who knows right? I'm so sorry that I wasn't as nice to you."

She wiped her tears away and put the picture back on the wall. "Rest in peace Miles Eddington. You and everyone else on the wall have earned it." She saluted the wall and headed down the corridor. She knew who her and Helo would be drinking a toast to later on that night.

**The End**


End file.
